Friday, September 9, 2011

Don't judge me

Sarah and her "open vibe"

My sister in law Sarah has what we call an open vibe. She can make friends with anyone and she does. I on the other hand do not have an open vibe. I have friends, I feel I’m a bunch of fun and I’m not mean to anyone. I just don’t do small talk and I don’t open up to people right away. Yes, I can see the positives to an open vibe and I see how Sarah’s open vibe influences her life in a good way. But, after being surrounded by open vibes (my husband also has an open vibe and wants to be everyone’s friend) I sometimes get down on myself for not being that type of person. Why am I not more interested in random people’s lives? Why don’t I make friends with cashiers at the grocery store? Then it turns into basically,
Why am I such a bitch?

That’s my low point. But really, am I a bad person because I don’t care if the cashier at the grocery LOVES the same frozen pizzas as my husband? Am I awful if I don’t want to know where the guy at the flea market acquired all his belongings I am now trying to buy off him? I don’t think so. I have beat myself up over this non-open vibe of mine but you know what? I’m fine with it and here is why.

So, my sister in law and I were sitting in a park, talking, people watching, taking a break from the bustle of the city when a guy walks our direction. My instinct was to not make eye contact and continue with my conversation. My sister in law’s open vibe instinct was to look directly at him and make eye contact. Knowing her she probably smiled at him also. He came right over and starting going on about something crazy and the situation was totally awkward. She held the conversation with him but couldn’t end it! It went on and on and she was giving me the “save me” look, so I had to be the one to politely tell him to go away. I think this happens a lot to her, so this is my reason to justify my non-open vibe. 

Then again, if you are a random stranger and tell me you love my skirt then my vibe opens right up. So do that if you want to be BFFs with me. 


  1. I totally feel ya. I'm fun and love to make friends, its just a slow process. There's a girl who just started in my office with a super open vibe and it actually makes me more shy than normal. Isn't that odd?

  2. Hey - I don't have a million "friends/acquaintances" I just have a few awesome friends who I know I can count on no matter what - and that's fine by me. You are by no means a bitch, just picky about your company!